Dear Addie,

This week you will celebrate your 4th Birthday! You are going to be FOUR years old. No matter how many times I write it, I can't believe it! It just doesn't seem possible!! Where has the time gone? Four years ago you came into this world as a sweet, innocent, feisty baby and we have watched you develop into a beautiful little girl. You are amazing, Addie! There are so many things I love about you.... so many ways you inspire me and so many things you have taught me in just four years. My life was forever changed on the day I saw you first time.

You have experienced so much more in 4 years than many others experience in a lifetime. Your tiny body has been through so much, yet only the slightest bit of a scar remains. Whatever challenge you have been faced with, you have been determined to fight your way through it...YOUR way! You've challenged every rule book, medical journal and doctor! You keep everyone on their toes.... never knowing exactly what to expect from you. You have fought through the tubes and lines, endless pokes and pricks, countless medications, and pain and discomfort and become a healthy, happy, vibrant girl.

You have always had the most amazing and carefree smile! It's contagious.... when you smile, it seems to make me forget all of my fears and know that everything is going to be okay. I remember many times during your first year of life, while you were sedated and had the breathing tube in, and just when I'd think I was going to break down, you would open your big, brown eyes and flash a nice big smile right through the tubes and wires. It would only last a second, but it would give me so much hope that everything was going to be okay!

You are so strong, Addie. The strongest person I have ever met! Just feeling your strength gives me just enough to get by during the toughest times. I wish everyday that it could be me instead of you.... I wish I could take away all the pain you've ever experienced. But, I can't and I don't think I could ever have as much strength as you have. No matter what the circumstance your strong will shines right through. You never let anyone forget that YOU are in charge.

You are amazingly loving. Whether it's picking you up from school, or just going outside for a minute, I am always greeted with several "mama's" and tons of hugs. It melts my heart EVERY SINGLE TIME! You have a heart of gold. You love so many people and it is impossible not to love you back! You would do just about anything you possibly could to brighten someone else's day. You make your way around a room making sure that everyone gets their share of Addie time!


You LOVE your brother so much.... you like to torture him, and even though he gets mad at you, he loves you very, very much too!

In August you started preschool. I was so nervous to let you go, even for such a short amount of time. You were unsure at first, to say the least. But over the past 8 months you have adjusted nicely and learned to love every second of your time there. You have won the hearts of ALL of your teachers and pretty much have them wrapped around your little finger! You have grown so much and in so many ways since you started school. I'm amazed at the difference in you and know that it was the best decision we've ever made! There is NO doubt that you love "Steen" ....

....and I'm pretty sure she likes you too! :)

Yesterday we celebrated 4 of the most wonderful and amazing years of my life. Four years since we were given an amazing gift. Addie you have taught us all so much during that time. I am a stronger, more patient, more forgiving, more loving person because of you. You have shown me what life is all about. You have taught me the importance of living and enjoying each and every day as there is never a guarantee of tomorrow. You are an inspiration to me.... you smile through the pain and laugh through the tears. You are persistent and have never been defeated. You often take your own course, with plenty of obstacles, but you always win in the end. You are unique, you have your own sense of style and are never afraid to express yourself.... I hope that is something that will never change. You are one very special little girl, Miss Addie, and there will never be anyone else quite like you! I hope you never afraid to be the best you that you can be. You are a miracle... there are so many reasons why you shouldn't still be here, but yet you are.... stronger and more vivacious every single day. You have been so healthy and you never let your disability get in your way.... you walk around with your little heart like you own the world. You aren't afraid to take chances or make mistakes... that inspires me so much and I SO love that about you! You are careful who you let into your world...you are slow to trust at times, but once you've decided you can trust someone, they win a forever place in your amazing heart. You have a great sense of style, a beautiful personality and you make my world a much better place!

This year your birthday is a little bittersweet... This week we will celebrate you and spoil you rotten..... and next week you will embark on your next big journey. The last step in giving you as close to a normal life as possible. You have a rough few weeks ahead of you. I can't even tell you how hard it will be to hand you over to the surgeons and leave you and your life in their hands. But I will stay strong for you, just like you have taught me so well to do. I will hold back the tears and give you a smile that assures you that everything will be okay. Addie, you have taught us all so much, and I believe with everything I have in me, that you still have so much to teach us. You have overcome so much and been cheated out of so much. You deserve to be here.... I need you and there are so many others who need you to help show them what life is all about. So stay strong and fight harder than you've ever fought in your life! You can do this!!

I love you so much baby girl.... I have been so blessed to have you in my life the last 4 years and look forward to many more years with you. You have so many angels looking out for you.... both up in heaven and here on Earth. And always remember that no matter what battle you are fighting you are never, ever alone!